Wednesday, November 28, 2018

The South

I am not sure what to make of the South other than perhaps all the stereotypes are right on and nothing will ever change that.

The election in Mississippi went in a very traditional manner by electing a racist, they did however break it by said racist being a woman so that is a step up I guess. Then we have the odd blood red trees on display in the White House that I have thought were representative of the knives used to stab varying staff member on the way out.   And those we thought were out were right back in with Manafort revelations that have led Prosecutors to rescind his plea bargain.   Seriously what the flying fuck is going on in this country?

I have exhausted all patience with the morons here who are seemingly content with the endless bullshit and lies peddled to them that I cannot believe anyone in their right mind would willingly move here.  The hysteria over the Amazon jobs  and the Ernst and Young now hipster friendly EY that have up to five years to fill those obligations and by then who will verify or remember it boggles the mind.  Endless buildings are on the rise and many sit empty and more are on the horizon in some bizarre belief that this is where everyone wants to be.  Really, why?

Today at the alternative school I was at chaos reigned as usual and the endless excuse making and neglect in dealing with the problems boggle the mind.  As faces of color seem to accept that horrific behavior by the same faces of color when it comes to the children cannot be resolved. Sorry but when a boy lays supine behind my desk and chair I have a valid reason to be afraid and wonder what is wrong when he feels compel to endlessly ramble using vulgar language and veiled threats  and when asked to discontinue the verbal abuse is seemingly clueless that calling me names and using foul language to describe me and speak to me is abuse.   Right there you have a problem.   One kid could not stop himself from being just bizarre taking stuff off the desk (eventually he did return with them), opening windows and acting like a small needy child, ignoring my requests to discontinue, while attending to all this another  child finally stole something from the Teacher's desk and ran out.  (I no longer take any valuables and so I knew it wasn't anything of mine).  As the phone wasn't working I finally ran into the hall and demanded help, when finally when some adults came in and just sat there.  The students continued acting bizarre with another student pouring glue all over the desk he was at while the same angry boy-child continued to act like a three year old, the other angry boy continued  to rant on and threaten anyone who tried to contain him.  This went on for an hour with the students asking me repeatedly if I was going to cry.  That was clearly the emotion they wanted and needed but I wasn't even angry, I was bored, disturbed and yes I was afraid.  And when it was over I was told that I had no reason to be frightened and that I need to be looser. Sure tell that to the Teacher who was assaulted, the one murdered and the students shot by fellow classmates. Sure tell them to lighten up. She had nothing to say after I made that comment.  Bitch please was what I really wanted to say.

What is disturbing is that this is setting these children up for a pipeline to jail or to be shot in the street by a Cop.  These are faces of color enabling and allowing children to completely have no accountability and in turn utterly be adrift in a society that will not allow them to reconcile themselves and in turn find a place within it.   This is not right not right at all. But here in the South that is racist and I cannot for the life me pretend that I understand nor try to care at this point.  This is what I do know - that in the South all parties are culpable and in turn use their roles to manipulate and exploit the situation to their advantage.  It is one sick fucking mess of co-dependency and enmeshment.  Enmeshment is a description of a relationship between two or more people in which personal boundaries are permeable and unclear and that I see repeatedly with the students and teachers, a situation where there seem to be no lines nor sense of propriety when it comes to Adult/Child relationships.  It is some sick shit.

 Then I looked at the Trump family dynamics and thought the similarity could not be greater. They are all so  intertwined that it has been a generation of sick dynamics that have enabled them to think that their behavior is somehow exempt from normal mores. The causes of enmeshment can vary.  Sometimes there is an event or series of occurrences in a family’s history that necessitates a parent becoming protective in their child’s life, such as an illness, trauma, or significant social problems in elementary school.  At this time the parent steps in to intervene.  While this intervention may have been appropriate at the time, some parents get stuck using that same approach in new settings and become overly involved in the day to day interactions of their children.

Other times, and perhaps more frequently, enmeshment occurs as a result of family patterns being passed down through the generations.  It is a result of family and personal boundaries becoming more and more permeable, undifferentiated, and fluid.  This may be because previous generations were loose in their personal boundaries and so it was learned by the next generation to do the same.  Or it may be a conscious decision to stay away from family patterns of a previous generation that felt overly rigid in its personal boundaries.

From the New York Times examination of the Trump family finances and the way the father both bullied and manipulated the children to hide his finances and in turn build his dynasty it makes sense in wealthy families but here in Nashville where over 75% of the children in public schools are poor and largely  children of color the generational pass is that of trauma.  From this  they have no sense of purpose or of being and with that change.  And when schools do try to intervene they are circumvented by their own cultural mores or in turn the fear of being accused of racism prevents anyone from actually resolving the issues that prevent a child from fully functioning.  And again the South is very vested in their deluded misconception about their worth and history.   This is generational and no one will change history. We tried and we failed.

I read this on Vox and I think it describes this region perfectly:

In Baptized in Blood, historian Charles Reagan Wilson describes the South’s Lost Cause narrative as “a mythic construct that helped white Southerners define a cultural identity in the aftermath of Confederate defeat.” The civil religion of the Lost Cause is on full display at a place like the Jefferson Davis Museum, recasting Confederate history as heroic and virtuous.

And the Lost Cause isn’t just a Southern myth; it’s a national one. This is why you see Confederate flags in Maine. It’s why the current president can say “they are trying to take away our history and our heritage” at a rally in Phoenix, Arizona, and still get wild applause. It’s why the domestic terrorist who rammed his car into counterprotesters in Charlottesville was born and raised far away from the South, in Ohio. It’s why cities from Birmingham to Brooklyn are grappling with what to do about their Confederate monuments. 

Bryan Stevenson, founder of the Equal Justice Initiative, put it well: “The North won the Civil War, but the South won the narrative war.”

And hence that is why here the endless bullshit and lies that mask as facts and truths fit so well into the current climate.  I cannot stress enough how tragic. How grim. How pathetic it is and here in Tennessee they think that as long as they aren't Mississippi they are doing great. Well what Ole Miss has is not much better than Tennessee and all the jobs from white liberal companies will not change that. 

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