Wednesday, May 9, 2018

The Card

Of late I have been playing close attention,  no not cards, to matters of race.  After being accused of being a racist by a group of sixth graders over a poorly phrased sarcastic comment over their head which  I realize in Tennessee humor is like intelligence - it lacks. But hey I am not this bad

And for a while I have dismissed this in the same way people use all kinds of epithets, largely behind the wheel of a vehicle. But more importantly I wanted to try to have a better understanding on how this accusation is used and when it is then what is the purpose and ultimately the end result.

Well we know from The Starbucks Moment as I now refer  to it that all hell breaks lose.  Or not as the two men have been the most reasonable in  that debacle and truly were gentlemen in every sense of the word.  Funny most 23 y/o white dudes seem to think armed and dangerous is a better plan. So learn from your Brothers from another mother.

But this card is tossed at random for what reason? Again in a class where I did not speak at all I was called a Racist or wasn't?  I have no idea as it was just thrown out there when I took naked dolls from a girl who was throwing them out as she was offended by the boys she took them from whom I ignored from my singular encounter of taking attendance.   This then enabled me to recall the first time I heard it since I moved to Nashville (and in Seattle there were random times and so infrequentI cannot recall)  it was last year at another school in the worst part of town,  where  a young man exhibited such bizarre behavior I was doing my best trying to ignore him  and was in the middle of a conversation with another kid when he came over yelled out at me "You just said NIGGER" and ran around  the room.  The kid looked at me and said if I needed a witness he would be happy to be one then suddenly he circled back and asked to go to the rest room which I consented and he left. The other student said, "You know he is not coming back?"  I affirmed that and said,  "Why do you think  I let him then no more bizarre outbursts and he is not our problem anymore."  The Vice Principal of that cluster fuck of the school has been promoted of late and I wish her good luck in her job of which I have no doubt she will be equally as effectual. 

And this is the constant state of affairs here, the presumption that one is Racist unless otherwise not.  But then what once the card is tossed? I suggested to a Black acquaintance that I should gang bang a bunch of men in the public square to prove this and then I would just be a whore versus a racist so naturally that would be better option.  And he concurred.  Although is Whore a ladder below or above Racist?

I have tried to reconcile, apologize, demonstrate and model all the right behavior and beliefs that I have learned in my 58 years on the planet and come to learn that no one fucking  cares. I have no power, no authority, I am underemployed, unmarried and have no children. What the fuck does it matter if I am a Racist it is not as if I could act upon it.  And how absurd me the screaming liberal a Racist?  Okay then now what?   Once they have made that decision you are just that.  I was so appalled to hear Bill Cosby's wife refer to the Jury of her husband like those of the Emmett Till case I could not believe it was even an appropriate analogy let alone anywhere near the comparison.  But poor dead Emmett he can never rest in peace in America where again  we will never resolve our racial divisions. 

And I have seen the poor use of the word which we must call the "N Word" as to not be mistaken for actually using it versus expressing it as a word not calling someone that so if that is the case we do that for Cunt right?   Bitch?  Asshole? Pick a card any card. 

In speaking about language, reading texts or books where  words that are hostile, abusive, racist and full of connotations they are just that - words in a book. When I was condemned of late for saying to someone "Well not all kids are special snowflakes and that is just okay" I was told I was calling kids names? What names? Which kids? Who were these kids?  I just said yesterday that kids are kids and they are all annoying.  Thankfully my partner in this exchange did not go off on some tangent about calling children negative words.

To be a Racist I believed was one whose actions, thoughts, reactions and interactions were all colored (what did I say COLORED?!!) by bias and prejudice against those whom do not share the same race.  And again that would be anyone of any race, it is a multi lane highway on this rainbow road.   Even the other day I said the expression, "Call  a Spade a spade" and was told not to say that. What spade?  Did I use it in derogatory manner and address someone as a small shovel?

I see why Bill Maher was pissed when in an exchange with a Republican Sentaor (I think it was Ben Sasse) about slavery and Bill said, "What I would not be in the fields, I would be a house nigger."  Okay so that expression is appalling and frankly now utterly a bad metaphor.  Today would be about the Latinx (no longer Latino apparently very gender neutral. I am avoiding the whole CIS thing thanks) cleaner vs the laborer.  We have much to learn.  So again the mea culpa of Maher required varying Black celebrities to come on and ostracize him for his use of a word that is said in many an exchange and in many a lyric.  I object to Whore as I was only one to prove a point and I enjoy sex and no money was exchanged. Oh that makes me a SLUT.  Good to know.  Sticks and stones can break my bones but names will never hurt me.

Today I read an Editorial in the local Black newspaper, The Tennessee Tribune, by a white business man who was upset at the tone at the recent School Board meeting and that the local black fraternity showed up and referenced the board meeting as a "lynching" and inferred two white women school board members were RACIST for questioning the Black Superintendent of Schools.  This was not mentioned in the local media as again we like our tea sweet and our scandals sex based.  But in  the reality of it  there is nothing  anyone can do at this point.  The women could quit and join the sex parade of men accused of abusing women and then what?   

Even the Attorney General of New York  running crazy over Weinstein and Trump had apparently a few tricks or was turning tricks in his closet that to came out this week.  And in turn his actions led to  Pissing off the Kink Community.  Oh No!!!    But hey what about the 50 Shades of Missouri?  Adding one to the many burning fires of late of #METoo, MeSoHorny, MeARagingPerv and so on. Every  Stormy Daniels at this point  seems boring as her gig was vanilla with a side of orange.

This current strum and drang here reminded me of one  in Seattle over a Principal in an Elementary School that had two sides to this coin.  It included instead of Sorority Sisters preaching she had her Church fellows join the choir to accuse the Teachers and others who were unhappy with her style of management as being RACIST.  She has since been promoted and undoubtedly is doing as great a job in the SPS office as she was at the school and no less divisive.  I think many school admin offices are like black holes where ineffectual and idiots go and are never seen or heard from again all while drawing a six figure salary with a guaranteed pension.   How do I sign up?

But then again I was not in this district just outside of Seattle where a Black Superintendent made Black Employees feel marginalized with her words.  And like all other investigations one finds it was not a factor but she resigned.  But this Principal is still in her gig and I lived about a block away from this very diverse school but hey what.ev!

Hey but at least I am not this dude.  Should have thought about that before coming out of that closet. Did I say closet? OMG the Gay Army will rescind my honorary degree.

We could go on an on but he who accuses excuses is a saying that has been stitched many a time on this quilt of  many colors.  I recall a colleague from Seattle was removed from his job, re-assigned to another school to a grade level he did not normally teach while fighting his suspension for having Courageous Conversations about race.  The irony is that his Principal did not have his back and she too has been reassigned to the World School where shockingly is  facing a no confidence vote from the staff since she took over from the last one who was promoted to the black hole. 

So all of the Racists, the Perverts, :the Kinks, the Whores , the Misunderstood, the Angry, the whatever card is tossed should do what exactly?  Kill ourselves and rid you of the problem of humanity in all its ugliness?   Well President Austin Superhero can take care of it right?  Show love.

I sit in schools everyday and have  never seen such ugliness as I witness here.  I watched a class yesterday in a middle school do nothing (okay about 1/4 did work) and one class had a SPED teacher push in and he did nothing until the last minute. Okay then.  But  one little girl spend most of the period trying desperately to "play" me and I finally shut her down by responding to every inane comment with "whatever you say".    I have been in English Language learner class and watched on child after another unable to act in anything but acting out.   They have given up clearly and now are just waiting for what?  I quit trying or caring as you simply cannot and keep your dignity. 

Yes this is where we learn our values and the reality is that you can toss that card down at anytime and there is nothing you can do about it.  Or you can it just is like it all a crapfullofbullshit.   So what is the point?  To make me feel bad?  To apologize to you because I made you feel bad?  Should I brand myself R for Racist and walk naked like Cersie in GOT and be stoned or killed? Kill myself?   Call me whatever you want. I know who I am and at this stage it is just a flip of the card that changes this hand.

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