Sunday, April 12, 2020

Dear Millennial

I blame you and your generation for this all. The failure of Democracy to protect us during a pandemic, for your obsession over safe space, pronouns, sexual abuse, opioid addiction, the police state we now live in, for Silicon Valley, social media and basically for being over educated under employed fuckwits.

In my book Conversations with Morons you will be featured predominately as you are the most narcissistic group of assholes I have ever met and I have me a lot of assholes in my 60 years of living. Okay with that says the Boomer.

You are snarky morons who are constantly afraid of your shadows, whose Mommy's picked your friends, set up your play dates, did your homework, made you hyper competitive, who became your carpool//soccer mom who baked organic treats and taught you how to be super snobby and arrogant while not being anyone or doing anything of import.  Well if you consider re-branding Taxi's as "ride sharing" and adding an A to BnB. Yes you are super smart and important.

Your sex life are non-existent or they are sick and ripe with weird commitment issues so you veil in in Polyamory, Asexuality or some other word to avoid any intimacy of any kind.

The idea of social media appeals along with the idiocy of being an Influencer as that just means you go to someplace, somewhere where someone else went and take a better picture.  You are measured by your followers who may or may not be real or be even more self involved and stupider than you as their parents did not get them the right tutors or pay the right bribes to get them into the right schools to pay excessive tuition in which to enter life in an assload of debt. Even Twitter was hijacked by the old crazy grandpa in the White House. Take that and shove it.

You are right now surely afraid or utterly oblivious to the pandemic and pretend to think that this is all a game and you are the reason the Daddy's have come down hard and closed parks, slipping the noose around are necks by having curfews and telling us all to STAY HOME.  For your generation the idea of personal responsibility is an anathema as you have no concept of others and what it means to respect them as you should yourself by not sneezing or coughing everywhere or simply staying home when sick.    By being upset when someone stands in front of you without asking you for permission and of course giving you the side eye which leads to drunken violence that leads to more crackdowns on behavior.  Daddy punishes all the children because of the acts of one.

Serious morons you need the Government to tell you how to wash your hands? And do you wash after wiping your ass or do you need instructions on that? Well you are hoarding toilet paper which tells me again, Mommy issues!

You are secretly scared and yet competitive with friends as you want to be the one who crushed Covid but you just lost your stupid fake tech job and now have no health care and you soon won't be able to afford the overpriced apartment you live in to prove how cool you are.

You are the reasons public transport has collapsed as you want it all green and cool so you pretend to be green by buying a hybrid or an electric Tesla despite there are no charging stations so you actually cannot go anywhere but then that would require you to actually think and do something on your own and that Millennial is impossible.  You are sheep and sheep are stupid.  No wonder we eat lambs at Easter as that young meat tastes fresh like spring.  But we cannot have spring because we are prisoners in our homes thanks to your disregard of warnings and of course reading and stuff that would have told you what was waiting around the corner. You are the reasons newspapers and magazines have collapsed because you refuse to do anything that anyone else did as it is not meaningful in your vacuous lives.  Reading is so UNessential.

OK Boomer I will stay home comfort in the knowing you are bringing me all my food and booze and other essentials and I will stay healthy and you will get sick and I don't care as there are more of you where you came from and you are replaceable.  You are meaningless and I don't give one flying fuck about you either.

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