I spent the holidays in the Bible Belt. First in Nashville to have another procedure to move forward on the dental reconstruction and then over Christmas and New Year in the low country, beginning in Charleston ending in Savannah where I ate as if just got out of prison. I loved that area a year ago and new it would recharge and restore me to have to return to Nashville again after the New Year to move to the final stages of the process. Vanderbilt as always never fails to disappoint and in turn another round of punches and returning to one's corner awaiting the Judge's decision. Of course this is about money and the original treatment plan and the cost of 11K which suddenly rose to 14K for reasons unknown. As this plan is the same, it would have been completed by now had the dental malpractice not occurred across the street, the needed corrective action and in turn the delays required to heal leading to the additional months to complete the process. As I did not pay for any of the work across the street I am unsure why I would pay for any increases in the process as nothing has changed nor needed to be since they had the parts, pieces and the same people doing all the same things they would have done four months earlier. Not even off the plane did I receive a notice from the Dentist that they have no record of the plan but oddly knew I had paid 5K in July so what was that deposit, a guess?
Vanderbilt is a tremendous hot mess of a facility and it shows every time I go to the hospital or clinic, the turnover, the odd patient abuse and incidents that include tasering and arresting an irate patient, the prosecution and trial of a Nurse for homicide as she gave a patient the wrong drugs and other incidents of record that continue to plague the hospital and yet it goes on without recourse. This is modern medicine at its finest and it is why it is the ISSUE of the candidates and rightly so. That said it was interesting to see how Bloomberg was in Nashville while I was there and throughout the Carolinas I saw more posters and ads for Tusi Gabbard and Tom Steyer than others but the one TV ad with Mayor Pete was riveting as it was quite religious and biblical in tone. Welcome to the belt where Tennessee and South Carolina are tied for domestic violence rates and intolerance for those who share Mayor Petes' sexual identity.
I spent most of my time commenting on that issue that as a woman I am thought of us as nothing more than a vagina and a checkbook. My worth comes largely from the checkbook as to many there I have no vagina worth exploring given my age so I better pay for any work to be done on that body part apparently. Good to know as both are closed for business.
I have long thought that women in the South are raised to be genteel ladies whose worth comes from their vaginas. Without something attached to it by incoming or outgoing body parts a woman has no value nor purpose so she needs to keep her mouth shut but legs akimbo just in case someone has time to fill the gaping hole. This in turn lends itself to an obsession about sex in ways that seem to transcend the religious ethic that dominates the landscape as most of the people there seem to spend down time sucking, fucking and humping then on Sunday thumping the Bible to make up for all that sucking, fucking and humping. Its a full cycle of dirty laundry in the South.
One characteristic that I see shared among the women and some men is the ability to be amazing Sycophants. These are individuals who take on the qualities and interests of the individuals they are obsessed with. What some would define as Southern Hospitality is is fact and act as what they are doing is acting obsequiously toward someone important in order to gain advantage. At times they remind me of the character in You, Joe, a stalker who seems misguided in his attempts to build relationships and some times well people end up dead. (If you have not seen You on Netflix YOU should)
With Ethan I managed two different acts of vandalism towards my rental car and a few crazy moments with death threats in the form of Biblical verse. Nothing says love more than defending murder through the use of a Bible. Better to kill you with I guess.
Spending any time in Nashville makes me insane and having to go back again at weekend means another two weeks of fighting my sanity or protecting my vagina and checkbook from demands they are not willing to give.
To prove my point on my last day there I was having dinner at a local joint and started a convo with a charming woman to my left who had an idea for a musical that was utterly amazing and solid in its vision. We chatted about the issues of obtaining legal song rights and what theater would or could be willing to produce this amazing concept when all of this had to end as her boyfriend was arriving and he was very jealous and possessive so she could not talk to anyone when he was around. This is past waving a red flag and for me it was not just another hammer to the nail when I talk about how these women are valued it at this point split the wood. This young woman who was into her 30s, had a job, an apartment of her own, had no children was not married to this man and yet was afraid of him? Are you fucking kidding me? And he arrived and to say he had seen better days and better hair colors is one thing but another to see the rage and anger on his aged face. I am 60 and he looked a decade well past mine. We ended our convo and I began to speak to the man next to me on the right and we had a laugh as I saw that she and the satan's minion were leaving I turned and said, "It was a great convo we had and I am going to go all Southern and go in for the hug if I may?" As I hugged her I whispered, "He doesn't believe in you and does not love you." She responded aloud, "I know." His face registered that exchange not knowing what I said and asked, "What did she say?" I said, "I wished we had met sooner as we would have been friends" And he looked at me angrily and I offered at that point to jump on the bar and drop my pants if he needed to get a speculum to get up into my vagina as well since clearly that was all I am worth... they left. The man next to me laughed and as he left he said, "You are a very interesting and intelligent woman and also very sexy." I laughed and said thanks I appreciate that since I had shared with him my thoughts of being a woman who had lived in the South. We parted and I turned to the Bartender who knew this woman and asked what the situation was, she confirmed he hurts her. The end.
The obsession with religion to harm and do harm never ends from Christianity to Islam to it all shows that we have an insatiable need to use this to defend and excuse our behavior. The rise of Anti Semitic attacks of late and other acts of vandalism on Catholic churches are further illustrations of how the ill find a way to act upon it. (And yes Fundamentalism hate both Jews and Catholics for Catholics are devised from Roman paganism) The recent article in the The New York Times about a online school - Prager University - is another irony that is a Jewish man who funds this and offers new ways to learn hate speech furthers my point. I am sure that Ethan and his cohorts are strongly affiliated with it as just another way to continue to preach and school hate.
Another Minister is trying to circumvent hate by changing the dialogue and in turn the mission of his church to one of Social Justice. Funny it was how I believed and raised but since that time we have seen a much more significant use of faith to politicize and demonize those who do not follow the faith in the same manner. Yes Jesus loves and rules but apparently he was bipolar doing so.
And this weekend the Times also had an editorial discussing the concept of hell and it has no fury as it is never mentioned in the book of myths which only further proves one's point that it is all bullshit.
I dread my return to Nashville this weekend but I will move forward and continue to be an adversary to the bullshit that is thrown in my direction, good thing I have waders. But it is exhausting to experience on any level but as I have said that the ends justify the means and if it means traveling back and forth will end this and in turn mean I never have to set foot in the South again then let's hit the road and I will notch up my belt for the ride.