Saturday, August 3, 2019

Mommy's Boys

I have come to conclude that right wing idiots who embrace religion are truly fucked up individuals with an Oedipus Complex times ten.

This (in Freudian theory) the complex of emotions aroused in a young child, typically around the age of four, by an unconscious sexual desire for the parent of the opposite sex and wish to exclude the parent of the same sex. (The term was originally applied to boys, the equivalent in girls being called the Electra complex.)

As I sit today I sit still in a combination of rage and mourning the loss of the best friend I have ever had in my life and I cannot understand why this rejection is playing so hard and fast on me over one I knew for a short period of time.  It was then I realized I am angry at myself for being so alone, lonely and desperate that I fell for this and it worried me that once again I was putting myself at risk for serious harm.  As I shared my grief and rage many expressed  equal mystification as what happened s  they too try to help me come to understanding as to why I am so distressed. But what we all agree is that the role of religion is a large factor that it is not just an identity in being Evangelical it is almost of a point of obsession. Funny last night I went to a performance piece called just that, Obsession, and it showed how damaging one's choices are and when they veer to that level they become destructive. Perhaps that was the final ending to the final act of this play that I have been acting out these past few months and I was so desperate that I did not know how to end this play and in turn I pulled those triggers that had been cocked and loaded the entire time. 

And during this time I and friends  have also been doing we all love to do best - couch psychoanalyzing the situation.   And all of us are guilty of such as we do so in a way to either project and of course infer our own experiences onto this in a way to  somehow grasp at understanding an individual with little to go on but the few facts I do know.  But what we all agree is that the role of religion has confused this young man to the point of conflict and contradiction that is both misleading and frustrating.    There is a clear level of duplicity in how he presents himself and how he is beneath the surface.  As I looked up the purity principle and the recent revelation  of Joshua Harris' rejection of the Church over his bullshit about sex and sexuality that dominated the Evangelical scene for the last decade I began to realize this  has to come from one source - mommy issues.  Of course the damage is done and the boys that became men are likely the same destructive fuckwits who support Trump, abuse their wives and children and keep internet porn profitable.

Now I suspect that the Parents of these idiots were sure they were doing the right thing in the hypocritical fashion that dominates this crowds lives,  they were just hoping that little Johnny did not knock up the neighbor girl. They could of done that by talking and giving out condoms but that is hard and shit and of course no one did it for them so why would they do so for their own children?    And this is what constituted sex education for this crowd - non existent - and in turn why we have what we have with regards to the word no, the idea of consent and drunken rape as they struggle with their values and hormones that have been placed into a closet and wrapped in a box in which to unwrap on their wedding day.  HALLELUJAH!

And with it comes the further subjugation of women, these same people who fear Islam and the idea of their arch conservatism and views about women aside, they are one Abaya away from female circumcision in which to blame women for their boys raping and harming women. Those sluts deserved it!  Women's place is on her back, on her knees and then in the kitchen with her mouth firmly taped shut.

To this I want to point out that it is women who largely raise boys so you bring this shit women on yourself by making your son's men before they are even out of knickers so own your evil.  When a young man of 22 tells me he was "saved" at age 8 by a Teacher who somehow ingratiated herself into this boys universe to convince him at age 8 he needed to be saved needs to save herself first.  To do this to a child whose own family is in the ministry makes me wonder what else she was dipping into.  How does a boy of 8 think he needs to be born again?  He is eight years old!!!  I seriously believe the boy was traumatized and in turn I trigger warned the hell out of him and that we had the most intimate of relationships that was utterly pure and utterly non-sexual in every way that  I am sure the Evangelicals would encourage or not as we actually hugged and shit so no we are not pure and I am the Whore of Bathsheba.  I learned that when this boy gave me the lust lecture  about sex and marriage and not having such outside of it and that it is for the purpose of procreation the light went on above my head.   (That and the hate speech video from the dead Minister about God Impeaching America,    I inferred that I am not a valuable woman.)  And this is because I have been married, have had sex outside of marriage and that the fact this Uterus is shut down for business; therefore, no man would want nor should want to dip the wick into this candle as it's damaged used goods.  Okay, then!

I have already been the victim of a man's predatory nature and in turn why I would be placed into this category for being sexually active, for dating and fucking men younger than me is insulting.  I am not Jeffrey Epstein, Harvey Weinstein, the Southern Ministers, the Catholic Priests or Bill Cosby.  But I have met them all, know their type and been preyed not prayed on by their type.  Consent has always been my watchword but I am not responsible for the men's failures to respect boundaries, to act out their sick fantasies or damaged acts... Blame the victim much?  Sorry I own my evil and I am not responsible however for the evil of others just by being my gender.   This is how fucked up and absurd these religious crackpots sound.  They have no clue how damaged they are and in turn how they can in turn damage others.  Keep it up Jesus! And by up we all know that is sexual in nature too!  Obsession much?

Again triggers and warnings are all over this map and another shooting this week from a boy of 21.  (Since that two more)  The seven year itch is being scratched as we enter the next seven year phase of emotional growth/life I have reasons to believe and reasons to be afraid.  God rears his head and the warriors take to arms.  That too was Scripture read to me from this young man, it was dark it was disturbing and in turn very isolating and threatening.   Be afraid be very afraid or discount it as the ramblings of the religious and misguided.   But again why one takes to arms versus one the pulpit the damage is the same and lives are lost.

When you are young and finding your way you make missteps and often cling to the past as that is the safety net that protects you from making mistakes in the present and in turn those the future.  Some of us do and some of us don't and that is what youth is, the opportunity to make mistakes and fix them so that the present and future are places one lives for not against. To Evangelicals they seem vested in fear, retribution and of course intimidation. They bully, infer, threaten and coerce submission and sublimation while denying truths and acceptance of reality and to do so means living in the now.  They simply remove the letter "w" and live in the no.

When I read the below article it resonated with me as I had been talking with another friend about the role of women in this young man's life and particularly his mother of which little is said but is clear that there are problems in the home and that gravitating to a Teacher for religious instruction when one's own Father is a Minister is right there bizarre but then again this is the South and being in people's  business is their business so what do I know? Well I believe in separation of Church and State and school is the State and I teach English and History so thanks no thanks on that church shit.   But it also explained why he gravitated to me the older Teacher person and why he saw me as a mentor but then again sex reared its ugly head and just like the Serpent the dick rules men's heads in ways that no one can overcome, not even Jesus.

I cannot wait to leave the South as the shit rolls downhill and this is deep shit.  And it brings new meaning to Pussy lover.  Not in a good way.

Far-right trolls still believe the antiquated notion that motherhood equals happiness

Arwa Mahdawi
Guardian UK
August 3 2019

Women were happy to take Stefan Molyneux to task after his tweet insulting those who choose to remain childfree went viral

Are you a woman without kids? Well, listen up please, a Man on the Internet has some questions for you. On Friday, Stefan Molyneux, a far-right media personality and self-appointed expert on reproductive health, tweeted: “Women get mostly infertile at 40, but live to be 80. Without a family, what are you going to do with those 40 long long years?” His tweet quickly went viral as woman explained that what they definitely weren’t going to do with those 40 long long years is give a damn about Molyneux’s opinions.

While Molyneux may be a rightwing troll, his condescending views are by no means unusual. A fun thing about being a childfree woman in your 30s is that the entire world seems to feel entitled to comment on your reproductive choices and tell you that you’d better get on with things, you’re running out of time! The idea that a woman’s most important role in life is to bring forth offspring is still deeply engrained in society and there remains a huge amount of stigma and suspicion surrounding childfree women.

It’s not particularly controversial for a man to say he doesn’t want children; people can get their heads around that. But women, we’re told, even if we profess to be ambivalent about kids, are biologically wired for motherhood. When British journalist Holly Brockwell tried to get sterilized in her 20s she couldn’t find a doctor who would agree to do the procedure. “I’ve probably put more thought into my decision not to have children than many people put into their decision to have them,” Brockwell wrote in a 2015 Guardian op-ed. Nevertheless, people kept on knowingly telling her she would change her mind. Brockwell didn’t change her mind and got her tubes tied at the age of 30 after, she tells me via Twitter direct message, “many, many doctor’s appointments pleading”. This she says, “was a waste of everyone’s time and energy, and in the meantime I got accidentally pregnant and had a traumatic miscarriage that could have been completely avoided if I’d just been listened to. I’m now 33, and tying my tubes is the best thing I ever did. Not a smidge of regret … I’m very happy.”

You don’t need to have children to have a happy, fulfilling life. That shouldn’t need to be said in 2019 but the constant pressure to procreate means that, unfortunately, it does. Indeed, there’s evidence that women are actually happier without kids. “The healthiest and happiest population subgroup are women who never married or had children,” Paul Dolan, a professor of behavioural science, told an audience at the Hay festival earlier this year. Dolan noted that traditional markers of measuring success, like marriage and children, no longer correlate with happiness. This is particularly true if you live somewhere like America, which loves fetuses, but is incredibly hostile to motherhood. Research shows that parents in America are significantly less happy than non-parents; this happiness gap is due to a dearth of family-friendly policies such as subsidized child care and paid sick leave.

After receiving a lot of flack for his tweet, Molyneaux doubled down on it and wrote: “WOMEN HAVE BEEN BULLIED BY PROPAGANDA INTO NOT HAVING CHILDREN. I’m just countering the narrative so younger women can be reminded of a real choice.” Quite the opposite is true of course. Women have been bullied into thinking we’ve got to race against our biological clocks and have children lest we regret it forever. It’s always worth being reminded, I think, that we can choose to ignore the tyranny of our “biological clocks” and reclaim our time.
Our women on the ground

Arab women are often portrayed as oppressed, silenced victims in the western media. So I’m ridiculously excited about Our Women on the Ground: Essays by Arab Women Reporting From the Arab World, a new anthology edited by the Lebanese-British journalist Zahra Hankir that amplifies badass voices from the Arab world. “The Arab women journalists in this collection of essays take control of the narrative by telling their own stories about the region’s many conflicts and how they’ve affected them personally, without holding back,” Hankir told me. “Together, their stories demonstrate why it’s important to include more native voices in mainstream media newsrooms as we seek to better understand the region and its many nuances.”
India bans instant divorce

India’s parliament has criminalized the practice of “triple-talaq”, which allows a Muslim man to instantly divorce his wife by saying “talaq” (which means divorce in Arabic) three times. “This is a historic day, the injustice that was going on with Muslim women, India’s parliament has given them justice,” law minister Ravi Shankar Prasad said in Delhi. While the new law is certainly good news I have a feeling it may have been motivated by the Modi government’s rampant Islamophobia rather than a genuine concern for women.
Saudi Arabia relaxes guardianship laws

Huge news from Saudi Arabia, which has just revised its archaic laws and will let women travel without the permission of a male guardian. While this is a great step forward, please let’s not forget that a number of women’s rights activists who fought for this change are still detained without charge and have reportedly been subject to torture and sexual abuse.
Kids think bearded men are strong … but unattractive

“A new study suggests that, until they reach puberty, kids are strongly anti-beard – although children with bearded fathers did feel more warmly toward facial hair,” NPR reports.
The Republican party’s woman problem

Politico Playbook reports: “A fun stat that’s making its way around GOP circles: there are more men named Jim in the House than Republican women running for re-election.” Gee I wonder why there aren’t more women running to represent an incredibly misogynistic party?

The weird cult of ‘face gains’

“On fitness Instagram, men are obsessed with gaining muscle or losing weight in their face,” writes Hussein Kesvani for Mel magazine. Sadly it seems that the biggest gains we’re making when it comes to gender equality are around body image insecurity.

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