I have of late used the blog as a place to rant and release my rage about living in Nashville. I have often debated that I cannot tell what is being mad from madness living here given that almost every single exchange I have require me to break it apart, analyze, dissect, to determine if I am not clear in my method of communication and in turn am I going mad as a result of all this internal self analysis as a result of living here.
For those who watch Game of Thrones I think that question has been answered by Danerys Targeanrean whose full descent into madness was illustrated when she literally burned the house down last Sunday. There is rage and there is that. I am angry not at myself any longer I got what I came for and am leaving so fuck it, mic drop and I am out. That said the healing that I needed did not happen and now I need to so as I move on I move forward with that and there is nothing here I am leaving behind. May the bridges I burn light the way. That is the extent of my fire breathing.
I admit I have never seen or experienced poverty in the way I have here. I have never seen/experienced or understood racism until I came here. I never understood the South and now that I have been and lived and traveled I have a much better insight into it but understand no, not really. And why? Because the reality is that these people cling to religion like the Titanic passengers clung to life rafts and we know how well that worked out don't we?
The country is moving away from a Christian identity and that is due to an influx of Immigrants, a move away by Millennial's from organized religion and the Churches themselves that have managed to alienate members thanks to raping parishioners, congregants and basically being fuckwit hypocrites. If you have not seen or heard of the shoes of Pastors on Instagram it is a good little site that exposes the bullshit about these Gucci clad Preachers. I also love the ones wearing dead baby animals. Sure lead the minks to slaughter. So much for preaching poverty is a blessing. They mean yours not theirs.
I live where not one public building does not have an acknowledgement of God as the leader of the world. Here in Tennessee it is a law to actually have in a visible place when you walk into a school a sign that says: IN GOD WE TRUST. Just hang a dollar bill it is the same.
This week a Teacher had a massive seizure and was admitted to the hospital and they came to clean up his room and remove his personal items which included his glasses and his not one but two Bibles and varying other religious paraphernalia. So much for prayer on that one.
For the record it is in every classroom I have been in to the point I wish they had a Jesus Bobble head doll so I could put a crown of thorns on it and some fake blood to really bring it home. Fuck this shit.
But then yesterday a new policy was issued and that is that any Student having sex in the building or on school property (you know those bleachers are fuck dens) will be expelled for 60 days no exceptions. This is about consensual sex not assault nor applies to harassment of any kind regardless of position in the school, where the real problems are. Okay fuck that then!
Which now brings me to the real issue that this post is about - Fucking. I have never seen anything in my life with regards to the obsession about sex like I have here. And that includes the South in general as they would fuck a hole in a tree they are that degenerate. And why? Repression and religion.
Let me point to the recent anti abortion laws that are dominating the news of late. We have Missouri whose last Governor had to drop the mic after his sexual shit became exposed like his dick. We have Alabama whose last Governor had to also put his dick back in his pants next to his Bible and makes Biden seem like an amateur groper. And lastly Louisiana.
Perhaps they actually believe the bullshit they spew such as consensual rape. Sure, for fuck's sake!
Lets point out that these are all Southern states with large minority populations, states with inadequate funding for health care, education and of course little industry that is located there that requires a higher educated and in turn income generating populace. Tennessee is desperately trying to attract that kind of workforce that for years were going to North Carolina but as we learned from again the "heartland" like Indiana this shit only goes so far but it has not shut these states down fully. North Carolina is still a state with its own crazy ass shit but the wind is blowing change. At least that is all its blowing right now.
But there are other states already there on the verge and have been quietly eroding away Women's reproductive rights and natch they are largely those states whose idea of faith is theirs, yours is not welcome unless you get on your knees and pray. And while down there suck the dick of the Pastor, kthnks!
At from all of this I take great comfort that in 5 really long months I will be gone and I can never come back here as I cannot have another conversation like the one I had yesterday who will win the doofus of the day award. I mean every day I do actually venture into a dialogue I immediately regret it but then ignorance is not bliss it is just ignorant.
I point to the morons quoted in the varying articles about these new laws that affect women and largely again they are by women. I have said many times that I hate women and this only confirms that once again my anger is not displaced. Nope women are cunts here in the South. They are raised to be these docile Grandmothers. Yes Grandmothers, as they are the only women that men acknowledge and admire and they are sexless beings another point I needed to make. I have never heard a Southern man speak of his mother, offer to introduce me to her (funny however that a Barista from California could not wait to introduce me to his mother and spoke her praises before and after) nor even talk tangentially about their family and its dynamics. Is she in a box under the bed? This explains the Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault rates in the South that top the nation: Alaska topped the deadliest states’ list, as it did last year. It was followed by Louisiana, Nevada, Arkansas, Tennessee and then South Carolina. The Bible made me do it!
And again the racial component cannot be ignored: Black women represented a disproportionate number of those killed, making up nearly half of the death toll in a state where African Americans account for 27 percent of the population. (South Carolina in this case) It may be why it is called the Bible Belt as it is better to beat you with. I cannot comment on the racial component but I want to point out #MeToo began as a black woman's comment on sexual assault.
I have never met a man here I did not like. And I mean that I did not like them. I have tried and tried again but the reality is that they are fucked up beyond belief and I am done. I know I am a raging bitch but come on I loathe women and so it puts me in a situation that means beggars cannot be choosers and I choose being alone. Again being mad is not madness but I see how that in GOT that once Danerys anchors were taken from her she had nothing to keep her from floating away into a place of rage. It is my greatest fear that I will carry some of this with me when I go so I am going to move this time in a very different fashion in which to allow me some time for transition before trying to integrate into a community and in turn spend most of my hours raging against the idiots here. Nothing good comes from that. Nor from the Bible either.