Literally as that is what it feels like at the present, that we are in Hell not even purgatory but full on blazing Hell. The irony was that the greatest surf guitarist, Dick Dale, passed this week and he is playing the soundtrack upon arrival, fast, furious and with speed we are in it deep and there may be no way out.
The last week brought another illustration of the great anger of the great white male only this time he was not American but Australian. At least we are keeping it in the "A" letters; However, he fit the American profile to meet another letter, the perfect T. He was white, just age 28 as that sweet spot is between ages 24-28. Unemployed, with no family or ties to the community he was living in. He was angry and wrote the standard manifesto blaming all non-white, non-Christian people for the worlds problems. While he cited Trump hew was conflicted about the rest of the Trump sphere of global relationships which at one point made me realize he was so not American as that required some insight and awareness. That then was immediately retracted when in Court flashed his 'gang' sign of white supremacy. Why then did I suddenly think of the great song, America, from West Side Story when I watched this? That is so not about white people. But then again diversity rules or not as a show about Latino Americans starring the fantastic star of that musical was just canceled on Netflix. Coming to a binge near you, The Best of Enemies, doing for the KKK what Green Book did for white people too!
*** for the record I liked Green Book as it introduced me to the music of Don Shirley who on the piano was as fierce as Dick Dale. And I loved the male stars they are great actors and that they gave dignity to what is a very undignified time let's just leave it at that****
We have now more hate and loathing as Trump is attacking the dead John McCain which again shows that integrity and dignity and traits which he does not possess. I was no fan of McCain and I loathe his daughter but I don't feel compelled to share that with the world with each passing brain fart. Even Sarah Palin managed to keep her mouth shut and was largely invisible during the time of public mourning. So follow that lead who woulda thunk it? Perhaps Mr. Kellyanne Conaway is right that the President has Narcissistic Personality Disorder, his diagnosis seems more on target than any of the other Physicians who have declared Trump both healthy and cognitively capable.
Then as we role along not as merrily more fallback from the movement that is not just MeToo but now YouToo with the resignation of an executive from Warner Brothers due to his "relationship" with a young aspiring Actress. While it seemed consensual it was of course a man in a higher position and in turn a younger woman who allowed this with the promise of enabling access to professional work. And to think Robert Kraft was shamed for his hiring an Asian prostitute to give him a hand job. True she was exploited and trafficked but hey he had needs and asking her about her immigration status was probably extra. A man has needs and only so much time. Ask apparently Brett Ratner, Kerry Packer, Kevin Tsujihara as they passed that girl around like dirty sock and cost as much.
And when desperate times call for desperate measures people behave and do shit that at times seems unfathomable and in fact often is. I can only say I have said too much, tried to hard, fucked the wrong man and failed to rely on my instincts when the shit hits the fan. And no age is not a better teacher it just means your older not necessarily wiser. Emotions rule in a crisis but when grown men in a position of power exploit young women with promises of "something more" they should check themselves at the door and head to an Oriental Spa for a hand job and then cum down, whoops I mean calm down before acting on those impulses. Well there are always another way to shoot a load. I think that says all I need to on that subject.
Meanwhile in Shitsville, I laughed as the outrage over incentives to Amazon lasted a hot minute here in 'it' city. Despite the reality that the types of jobs, the salaries and where the prospective employees were coming from (inside the region vs transfers) was of course skirted and pleated with no definitive answers but donations to varying schools and organizations and some political lobbying on behalf of the LGBQT community regarding the continuing bills written to oppress Gay rights was made. If anyone thinks this Legislature is going to spend some time thinking they are less aware than the NZ Terrorist, they are full tilt boogie with the Plumber in charge. Ain't no stopping us now!
Yesterday at Vanderbilt which once again seems to provide with entertainment coupled with concern, as a woman is suing them for removing the wrong kidney. Funny a year ago I was insistent that I leave the hospital with the two kidneys I came in with seems now to be quite prescient. But there as I planned for my implants, dental not breast, I was chatting with the X-Ray Tech about the lack of transportation options including sidewalks and crosswalks (she was impressed that I did not own a car and ride buses throughout the city, I failed to tell her I was in a rental car that day) and another tech raced in going, "There she goes again, I can hear her." And to that I wanted to say, "Why the fuck do you care about our conversation it was hardly done to enrage or cause issue as I was simply responding to what she asked me how I managed driving in and I told her I didn't. And that is why I simply responded that I was talking about transit, just a fact and observation along with experience and I left it at that and she in turn realized the entertainment portion was over. I realized after she left I told the woman that I also work in the schools and they are equally as horrible and despite all the proclamations about Amazon and money and wages there is little give back to the community and nowhere does it prove it when in fact it is Vanderbilt that is the largest employer in both education and medical care and in turn the biggest draw to the city and little is done to address the needs of its workers. She concurred as Vanderbilt does not pay its staff the wages that are akin to the white collar ones promised by Amzon, et al. . And Vanderbilt has a largely diverse staff of varying levels of education and skills set who are least likely to demand wages or collectively organize given the way the school and hospital are split entities. But again I point to the story about Dr. Eugene Gu about how "liberal" Nashville is. I was also clear that the politics and climate here (not just the weather as that too will be a major issue) will also have an affect on who comes and who stays. I am not the only one who thinks that but I don't go into denial as the article in the Tennessean seems to promote. The reality is that for every act the City passes the State does its best to circumvent it. Nashville is not progressive nor inclusive in any way.
I read this article in the New York Times about Women Economists and how they are incredibly marginalized and face high levels of sexual abuse in the field but one comment stood out by Lisa D. Cook: " I'm just going to keep on being nice and one day people will believe me. I'm going to keep on being smart, and one day people will believe me. I'm going to keep on sending out these papers, and one day people will believe me."
That is how I feel living here that one day people will believe me. Even in the most innocuous of situations, like yesterday, I was shocked how the tech stormed in laughing as if I was a source of entertainment to be placed there for amusement. I don't think she meant it that way but that is what it is like to live here, to state an opinion heavily derived from fact and be so marginalized that you question all your beliefs, your thoughts and your character. Nashville is a fuckhole. And the people who live here are fucking douchebags who can go to hell.