Friday, September 21, 2018

Mother Madonna Whore




Women fall into three categories -  Mother, A Saintly figure who is to be sexualized but not touched and whore bag. I fall into that last classification clearly.  Why? I am not a Virgin, I am not a Mother and I sure as hell never was a Saint.  And I realized the other day as I began another blog post on a similar subject I realize that women are also prey.  And we have no instinct nor awareness that those in the animal kingdom have regarding that precarious position on the food chain.

The endless stories in the media of late of women joggers getting murdered or assaulted.   Women being murdered by their significant other, women being raped by bosses, women being murdered doing their job, being at home, being at school, just being women seems to be the single reason women are just murdered.  Some of it is personal some of it not but the common thread is that a man has made the decision to end their lives and that is reason enough.

There was the Jogger this week, the Golfer, the Wife and Pregnant Mother a few weeks back, the College Girl Mollie Tibbetts  and a maniac who impregnated a 10 year old girl.  And, of course,  the Kavanaugh story that took place in a elite suburb with kids from an elite school the epitome of what defines "White Privilege"  We just finished the trial of the killer of the Nurse stabbed death in her apartment a story that played out over National news and it took place a quarter of a mile from my own home.   She was pretty, Southern and a Nurse the trifecta of what defines VICTIM.  Of course her door was unlocked after her male companion left it open after he left her unit, 30 minutes after bringing her home from a night out.  Did they have some type of sexual encounter or was she so drunk she passed out neglecting to see her friend out and secure the door? I have no clue but it enabled someone to come in and harm her.  Her roommate was sleeping the room next door and it appears did not awaken until she heard screaming.  Why did this happen at all?

In Nashville the crime matters if you are white and recently a rape occurred just South of me and the victim was pregnant and that led to the capture of her rapist, a teenager. Great.  But we have many women here victimized and abused, one District Attorney quit last year as he felt that the head of the Department neglected to pursue rape cases and particularly those from complaints via the school district.  One "lauded" Principal asked the victim what she did to bring this on? Well it was a woman who was sexually molesting her and there alone may also have added to the issue and both were women of color so two strikes one more an  you are out.

Just being a woman makes you prey.   And maybe pray to somehow never get harmed, never get assaulted, never have a spouse abuse you or be victimized just for being you.  We do a shitty job teaching women how to realize that no, we have not come a long way baby.  Women are there to be fucked, get fucked and when not having children and not complaining. Wow we are making America Great Again.  I know few women in the Millennial cohort who realize I came of age when abortions became legal, when issues about Gender and Sexuality were tied with those issues regarding Race and yet here we are back to square one.  I recall a Neighbor being taken by my Mother and her friend  a Nurse to a Doctor that performed "D&C" as they were called.  I recall a girlfriend getting Pregnant and having to go get the money and find someone to "take care of it."  Yes those were the good ole days.

There is this true disconnect between recalling the past and living in the present.  I don't live in the past but it affects my present just as my present affects my future.  I get it I really do.  I am not surprised that a teenage girl would not tell anyone and wait until she was an adult to discuss the trauma of what happened to her at a party, on a date, walking home, with a family member or any other scenario.  Who in the flying fuck sits around and then suddenly "remembers" that? No one. Hey you never forget you only wish you could.

But the reality is that many women simply refuse to realize that one wrong word, one wrong glance, one drink too many is all one thing a man needs to go off the deep end.  Do all men? I am beginning to wonder.  I can't recall a man I have met of late that is descent human being so right there I wonder. Oh wait the nice man in the coffee shop and that was that but that was a minor civil encounter and exchange so who the flying fuck knows, I sure as hell don't.  I was one of the women who thought it would never happen to me and it did.   And it changes you forever.

This article in The Washington Post appears to think adults are idiots and don't realize that shit does not change.  I don't think we are but we want to believe Scully we really do. Sorry but I have been around kids off and on for 20 years and they baby duck imprint around 6th grade and it is then you can see a fairly good indication about the adult the child will become.  True grades 7-10 are pretty horrific and that crosses the board but again that seems light years after its over.  But for some it doesn't and you don't just "forget."  Again does anyone forget trauma? Or do they rebrand it?

Odd how forgiving and forgetting we are with Kavanaugh but ask that young Black juvenile male who made a single mistake and is now paying for it, tried as an Adult and penalized as one being sent to an Adult male prison at 17 for 20 years.  Gee he doesn't get that free pass as defined as "boys being boys" and "silly things done while in college"  Okay then, the exceptions to the rules and again the true definitive of "White Privilege."

No one believes you, no one supports you, no one cares about you unless they CHOOSE to.  You are on your own kid and ladies if you think that has changed think again.  The recent New York Review of Books brouhaha, Hockenberry's rant in Harpers, Louis CK resurgence tells you we are one step away from a Harvey Weinstein film festival with Bill Cosby as host.

Angry? Check.   Depressed? Check?  Going on with life? Check. But I go alone and I miss having affection, a caring reciprocal relationship but it is what it is.  I know for a fact that the men in Tennessee are two fucked up for even a date. They were so proud of late of dropping down in stats regarding domestic violence. We used to be number 4 in the nation for women dying from it we are now number 5.  See those 100 people a day moving here are good for something. But this is the South and the Mama lore and idolatry is number three here, right after Sports and then the rest is a crapshoot but as long as they all go to Church on Sunday all is forgiven.  That is the buckle of the belt, the better to beat you with.



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