Saturday, October 14, 2017

Some of my best friends are...

We are hitting Bill Cosby numbers now with women who are coming forward with their tales of Weinstein.   This will make a great movie with John Travolta as Harvey, produced by the Weinstein Company!

I might have to wrap up my comments on this subject as this is an issue that not only triggers it explodes in my mind and I cannot look back in history when I need to live in the now and move to the future.  Can you ever do that?  Dan Savage was wrong, it does not get better. Oh wait he meant being gay, I guess victims of harassment or rape will have to find a new trademark phrase.  **(This is why I love Twitter the literalness of posting when I posted that a woman explained to me about what that phrase means and applies to.  Yes he trademarked it I am sure!)**

I for one loathed the phrase "rape culture" as if it was some systemically passed on tradition from men to men to learn how to harm women and it was just something we had to adapt to in which to avoid, sort of like Korean food?  Seriously that phrase was idiotic until this.

There may be something to that with the sheer amount of stories about women being victims of men. We have the Silicon Valley stories, we have football drama that has extended onto boys and children of special needs, the Catholic Church seemed to focus on young boys but it was not exclusive and lastly the Hollywood games.  We have had similar stories in many industries and I just perused Katy Tur's book about the Trump Campaign and even the Reporters have an expression, "Wings up, rings off."  Okay have I missed anything?  Sex slavery in the Accounting industry?

Then we have the naysayers and the shock and horror speeches of those who seem utterly oblivious, clueless that a well known secret was apparently not well enough known, heard or repeated to them to actually give a flying fuck.  Well you don't until it happens to you. 

Let me understand the non-trademarked phrase "As a Son/Husband/Father/Feminist..." that precludes the next apology and anger at the predator or pervert to show they care.  These same people need to do the same when it comes to Black Lives Matter with "My best friend is black." Or in the case of LGBQT issues, "I kissed a girl/boy/dabbled in college with my sexuality." As for Asian or Native American you will go with "Love your food" and "We changed Christopher Columbus day to Indigent People day!"

I have said repeatedly men cannot be Feminists, they can support the movement and respect women in their lives/workplaces/politically or however they choose to do so.  I have had systemic arguments with women who claim you can be a man and be a Feminist.  Uh no not even Caitiyn Bruce can be or whatever her name is.  I did find it odd that Katy Tur ignores that elephant in the room about her father now her mother and wonder if Trump did hence the baiting?  I think that was a movie made by Harvey Weinstein too!  Well The Crying Game was revolutionary for the time.

So I found this article and asked myself the same question.  Again Brad Pitt had not just one woman in his life a victim of this predator and yet he did nothing.  Good on ya!  Keeping it 100, realz or at home.  I never know what the cool kids say today.

As ‘the fathers of daughters,’ they were offended by harassment. But what did that really mean?
By Jessica Contrera The Washington Post October 13 2017

The world was waiting for Matt Damon to address the scandal that had enveloped Harvey Weinstein, the Hollywood mogul who had helped launch his career, and the A-lister chose his words carefully.

“As the father of four daughters,” Damon said in an interview this week, “this is the kind of sexual predation that keeps me up at night.”

It may have sounded familiar — and not just because there have been a lot of sexual harassers to denounce lately.

“As the father of three daughters,” Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell pronounced a year ago, as the then-Republican nominee for president was exposed on tapes bragging about groping women, “I strongly believe that Trump needs to apologize directly to women and girls everywhere.”

“As the father of three daughters,” said Fox News commentator Geraldo Rivera a few months earlier, after his company’s CEO, Roger Ailes, was accused by multiple women of sexual harassment, “I urge all who have been offended to reach out.”

Every catastrophe has its own cliches. We hunker down against a hurricane. We refuse to let the terrorists win. We offer thoughts and prayers. But even words that are well-intentioned can, after a few too many repetitions, begin to draw ire: Lawmakers who, in the wake of mass shootings, are quick to offer those “thoughts and prayers” via Twitter and Facebook have lately faced a backlash from some who say they’d rather see legislative action instead.
The sexual harassment allegations against Harvey Weinstein inspired many men to cite their daughters while denouncing him. (Paul Buck/Epa-Efe/Rex/Shutterstock)

“When social media gives the opportunity for us all to express similar feelings in similar ways, people start to think that they are hollow,” said Peter Smudde, an Illinois State University professor of communications.

The sentiment of wanting to pray may be genuine, Smudde said, but the strong backlash to the phrase has made it not only a cliche, but a taboo. “As a father of daughters” seems headed for the same fate — and Damon quickly felt the blowback.

“Keep in mind that women are not only ‘wives’ and ‘daughters’ but also, in fact, people,” one Twitter user snipped on Wednesday, in a tweet that got 14,000 likes.

“Men only humanize women when things affect women in their lives,” said another.

For his critics, it wasn’t that Damon mentioned his kids. But because he denounced sexual violence and mentioned that he was a father in the same breath, it seemed to them he was denouncing sexual violence merely because he is a father.

“You don’t need a daughter to feel guilty about working with a man who preys on young women,” wrote Hunter Harris for New York magazine. “You just need a conscience.”

Mark Macias, a public-relations adviser who works in crisis management, puts it this way: Would you condemn racism with the preface, “As a person with a black friend . . .”?

“I am sure there are a lot of people who never spoke out [against Weinstein] and they might feel a little guilty, and this is their way of appeasing their conscience,” Macias said. “But you shouldn’t have to bring up proof that you can relate.”

Perhaps Damon’s words wouldn’t have gotten so much attention if they hadn’t been said so many times before. In the past few years, the cycle of powerful men being accused of sexual assault and abuse has played on repeat. Bill Cosby, Bill O’Reilly, Roger Ailes: an awful sense of deja vu sets in. In each case, the men were alleged to have used their influence to take advantage of — and then silence — women they encountered professionally.

The scandal that most brought out the daughter-mentioning was the disclosure of the “Access Hollywood” tape, in which future President Trump bagged about grabbing women’s genitals.

“Such vile degradations demean our wives and daughters and corrupt America’s face to the world,” Mitt Romney said.

“As the grandfather of two precious girls,” said Jeb Bush, “I find that no apology can excuse away Donald Trump’s reprehensible comments degrading women.”

Then-Rep. Jason Chaffetz (R-Utah) made the reference even more vivid, saying he could not look his 15-year-old daughter in the eye and “endorse this person,” meaning Trump. Nineteen days later, though, he tweeted that while he wouldn’t endorse Trump, he would be voting for him.

Politics and intentions aside, research has shown that having a daughter can, in fact, change how a man treats other women. Studies have found that men with daughters are less attached to traditional gender roles; male CEOs with firstborn daughters pay their employees more; male judges with daughters are more likely to rule in favor of female plaintiffs in cases involving employment discrimination; and male venture capital managers with daughters hire more female partners.

All of these steps toward equality can be achieved, of course, without producing any offspring.

Take, for consideration, the advice of writer Anne Victoria Clarke, who in a post for Medium this week, promised one easy trick for men to make sure they are “treating women like people.” Just behave toward them like you would toward Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson.

“Simply,” Clarke suggested, “offer them the same respect, admiration, and healthy dose of fear you’d offer anyone who could completely destroy you should you deserve it.”

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