Wednesday, June 7, 2017

Walking and Thinking

As I read the ongoing trial of Bill Cosby the phrase 'throwing up in my mouth a little' seemed insufficient as I truly believed I was going to projectile vomit.  An awkward move as I was sitting in a  coffee shop at the time.  But then again you read this article about a sexual assault victim and her being jailed as a way of forcing her to testify and you think it could not get any worse.

I have had enough.  I am not even sure I understand the depth and breadth of this statement. I am not suicidal or homicidal, just in case anyone feels compelled to send Cops to my door - AGAIN - as they are neither trained mental health professionals nor all that intelligent to actually comprehend my rage and where their idea of resolution is using you as target practice.  But then again Eric Trump has explained it - Democrats are not human.  This from a robot who kills big game for sport.   Again a qualified individual placing a collective upon a group of people; Replace 'Democrats' with Blacks, Women, Muslims, you see my point?

I wish I had moved to Pittsburgh, which was my other choice when I was looking to relocate for my Medical/ Dental needs.  It got a shout out by the President this last week as it is apparently the Paris of America.   Pittsburgh figured out how to repair itself and in turn it has re-invented itself in a way that demonstrates the idea of grit. Instead I chose Nashville, whoops, well we all make bad choices.

I keep wanting to believe it will get better but in reality I think a red state is one of the safest as there is no reason to target or raise a riot to garner attention.  And the march/riot/protest in Portland brought out the best and the worst in people and I expect more of this in the months to years ahead.   The Northwest is not absolved of guilt towards open racism it is just that the pockets of Portland and Seattle do better at subverting it but it exists, the history speaks  volumes.  

But I want to point out that while I live in Nashville and find the people utterly lacking I did find the same in Seattle, just different.  It is the whole poseur and faux hipster class in Seattle and the tech sect and yes I mean sect versus the whatever fuck hillbilly faux Amish shit going on here and the Jesus is my Christian Soldier sect.  Yes they too are the same in the need to follow a dogma, official or unofficial.  But fear is a strong bonding agent to both  enrage and ensure compliance.  That and the MEME class has taken the youth thing to a whole new level.  I get the Ben Sasse shit but another messenger might have been more prudent. But when you look around and see conformity to the level we have now regardless of the type - alt right, hillbilly, hipster, etc - you have a problem with diversity on every level.

I finally decided that I don't care about Nashville in either or a love/hate way as that takes too much energy and at this point the clock ticks.  The next year I move toward the last of my dental treatment and once that it is finally concluded in 2019 I put my shit into storage and leave.  I need time to travel, to find where I want to go and the person I need to be with people just like me.  Oh wait. Table for one please!

Reading this profile in the Atlantic about the White Supremacist, Richard Spencer,  and one can see that he has tried to find his footing in numerous persona's now settling on angry white man - the territory abandoned by Glenn Beck and the now unemployed Bill O'Reilly.  By putting the "alt" it means I have cooler hair cut and occasionally dabble in gay sex.

Anger. I get it. I really do. I guess mine comes out with sarcasm, angry missives like this and a lot of walking and thinking.   Perhaps that is why few do it are they afraid or is that impossible?

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