Tuesday, November 3, 2015

Got a Joke

When I read the below article my first thought was: "are you fucking kidding me?"

Looking at the Bar Association and how it accredited third rate schools to produce third rate Lawyers with a ambulance full of debt in which to chase more sad sacks is one thing. Then we have the endless stories of Prosecutorial Misconduct, Judges running amok and the endless Defense Attorneys be they public or private who do little more than express lane out their clients to plead em and leave em to the mercy of the system. Then we have the role of Attorneys in the civil system with their clever little arbitration/mediation clauses; the law loopholes they write or their cover ups on corporate malfeasance as they did with regards to the auto or banking industry. And let us not forget their monopoly of the law that places those with the temerity and/or audacity to fight pro se at a distinct disadvantage, I am unclear what I am to love.

I have three words for those in the legal field: GO FUCK YOURSELF. On that I am not joking.

'Love Your Lawyer Day' to Combat Nasty Jokes in the Law

Why did the lawyers cross the road? For the holiday in their honor.
Katelyn Polantz, The National Law Journal

Here’s a joke. What do mold, ooze, pond scum and lawyers have in common?

Before you answer, “They’re all slime,” humorist Malcolm Kushner implores you to reconsider.

A better answer would be “They all float to the top,” Kushner writes in his new book, “Comebacks for Lawyer Jokes,” which he self-published last month. A California-barred lawyer himself, Kushner aims to disrupt that nasty joke-teller and save a sensitive lawyer’s self-esteem and reputation.

The book itself carries 185 pages of lawyer joke setups, punch lines and Kushner’s proposed lawyer-empowering interruptions. For good measure, he’s included a few digs at doctors and accountants plus a handful of pro-lawyer chuckles, too.

“I like any jokes. A lot of lawyers like these jokes, but a lot of them don’t,” Kushner said in a recent interview. “The real thing about the lawyer joke isn’t so much they’re mean, it’s that they’re cultural carriers of bad images of lawyers.”

The attempt to thwart negativity against the legal profession has gathered momentum this fall along with the book. Others in the industry have decided to fight the stigma: None other than the American Bar Association picked up the banner last month.

The ABA Law Practice Division and a group called the American Lawyers Public Image Association, founded and promoted by a Florida lawyer named Nader Anise, plan to celebrate “Love Your Lawyer Day” this Friday. The day encourages the public to “celebrate lawyers and express their gratitude for them” and for lawyers to contribute to charitable causes, especially through pro bono work, according to a decree from the Law Practice Division late last month.

The holiday and Anise’s association have been around for almost 15 years, yet this year is the first it has gained national endorsement.

Anise founded the group after hearing a lawyer joke: “Why did they stop making stamps with lawyers' pictures on them? Because people didn’t know which side to spit on.”

“I’m a lawyer and I know lawyers who work day and night and kill themselves for their clients, and I just didn’t think that was right or that was fair,” Anise said. The group for many years announced opposition to negative portrayals of lawyers in the media, especially on network sitcoms like NBC’s short-lived “First Years” in 2001 and now Fox’s “The Grinder.”

More recently, Anise has heard from lawyers and nonlawyers alike who are interested in joining the cause. In Florida, First District Court of Appeal Judge Simone Marstiller has been tweeting about it. Membership packets are in the works, Anise said.

Tom Bolt, the ABA Law Practice Division chairman and managing shareholder of BoltNagi in the Virgin Islands, said he has wanted to promote lawyers’ reputations for some time.

“I don’t think the message is getting out,” he said. “We need to educate the public as to the role of lawyers and what they are doing as positive contributors to society.” Bolt cited survey results from Gallup and the Pew Research Center in 2014 and 2013, respectively, that found lacking the public’s perception of lawyers’ contributions to society, honesty and ethics, especially compared to other professions. Anise’s association hopes that asking the public to refrain from making negative lawyer jokes on Love Your Lawyer Day will further the cause.

Timothy Corcoran, immediate past president of the Legal Marketing Association and a management consultant, was more hesitant to oppose the supposed epidemic of jokes and comments that cut lawyers down.

“I don’t think a sharp joke affects corporate lawyers that much, unless it’s their moms telling the jokes,” Corcoran said. “If they can survive law school, they can survive a neighbor not knowing what they do and making a joke.”

Some of the negativity spewed at lawyers is just the nature of the industry, Corcoran said. Much of lawyers’ work, especially for corporations, is opaque or not understood by outsiders, he said, and it’s most often noticed when the lawyering goes wrong. “Anything we don’t understand, we often poke fun at,” Corcoran added.

That said, Love Your Lawyer Day shouldn’t be the butt of jokes, either.

“If we have to fabricate a day to give them their just rewards, we should,” Corcoran sai

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