Tuesday, November 24, 2015

Coddle Me Swaddle Me

Today I was in a school that had a local school oriented theatre group performing a play about bullying and particularly using the internet and social media to cyberbully a student.

Prior to the performance I was to go over the bullying rules of the school and was suggested to look at Ted Talk on the subject of internet as a a permanent marker equivalent to a tattoo. It was incredibly boring and utterly uninteresting to middle schoolers where this was to take place. I canned the film and discussed how my job is akin to being bullied on a daily basis.

They were half listening half not. I finally after an hour of attempts to corral them into a discussion on the subject had given up to allow them some down time prior as a way of possibly shutting them up; however, it seemed to only escalate to them acting as if they were in a casino screaming at the top of their lungs. I lost it and yelled angrily about how this concerned me enough that I did not feel comfortable taking them as this would only reflect on me. It always does with kids and subs and is as if they were perfect angels but just our body odor turns them into lunatics when in reality everyone knows kids for some inherent reason feel obligated to behave as such. The training for this begins early and could end early but in reality the Teachers lack of enforcement and training with regards to this are largely the problem as well.

So my concerns were justified and thankfully unfulfilled as the play and the kids went on without any further ado. The subject was pertinent and of course showed how teasing can turn into abuse and in turn harassment with ease. And the idea that kids seem oblivious to this was the point. I just experienced it and yet people actually cannot believe that children do this effortlessly and thoughtlessly. That is the real problem. The lack of civics, ethics and of course ownership of behavior. That lack of accountability and the ability to blame and excuse has led to what I believe are now being illustrated on the college campuses.

The editorial below has shown what has resulted. I see it repeatedly and refuse to excuse children instead I use the opportunity to educate and inform. Every moment is a teaching moment, that is not to lecture, shout and punish. Just an opportunity to talk and open the door to exchange. Little of that is done and so when I do so I see some kids who respond with earnest interest, others utter frustration and some utter ignorance. It is the last one that concern me the most.

I think this from Martin Luther King, Jr says it best.

For thin-skinned students, we have nobody to blame but ourselves

By Kathleen Parker Opinion writer
The Washington Post
November 24 2015

It would be easy to call protesting college students crybabies and brats for pitching hissy fits over hurt feelings, but this likely would lead to such torrents of tearful tribulation that the nation’s university system would have to shut down for a prolonged period of grief counseling.

Besides, it would be insensitive.

Instead, let me be the first to say: It’s not the students’ fault. These serial tantrums are direct results of our Everybody Gets a Trophy culture and an educational system that, for the most part, no longer teaches a core curriculum, including history, government and the Bill of Rights.

The students simply don’t know any better.

This isn’t necessarily to excuse them. Everyone has a choice whether to ignore a perceived slight — or to form a posse. But as with any problem, it helps to understand its source. The disease, I fear, was auto-induced with the zealous pampering of the American child that began a few decades ago.

The first sign of the epidemic of sensitivity we’re witnessing was when parents and teachers were instructed never to tell Johnny that he’s a “bad boy,” but that he’s “acting” like a bad boy.

Next, Johnny was handed a blue ribbon along with everyone else on the team even though he didn’t deserve one. This had the opposite effect of what was intended. Rather than protecting Johnny’s fragile self-esteem, the prize undermined Johnny’s faith in his own perceptions and judgment. It robbed him of his ability to pick himself up when he fell and to be brave, honest and hardy in the face of adversity.

Self-esteem is earned, not bestowed.

Today’s campuses are overrun with little Johnnys, their female counterparts and their adult enablers. How will we ever find enough fainting couches?

Lest anyone feel slighted so soon, this is also not to diminish the pain of racism (or sexism, ageism, blondism or whatever -ism gets one’s tear ducts moistened). But nothing reported on campuses the past several weeks rises to the level of the coerced resignations of a university chancellor and president.

The affronts that prompted students to demand the resignations include: a possibly off-campus, drive-by racial epithet apparently aimed at the student body president; another racial epithet , hurled by a drunk white student; a swastika drawn with feces in a dorm restroom.

Someone certainly deserves a spanking — or psychoanalysis. Sigmund Freud had plenty to say about people who play with the products of their alimentary canal.

But do such events mean that students have been neglected, as protesters have charged? Or that the school tolerates racism?

Concurrent with these episodes of outrage is the recent surge on campuses of “trigger warnings” in syllabuses to alert students to content that might be upsetting, and “safe spaces ” where students can seek refuge when ideas make them uncomfortable. It seems absurd to have to mention that the purpose of higher education is to be challenged, to be exposed to different views and, above all, to be exhilarated by the exercise of free speech — other people’s as well as one’s own.

The marketplace of ideas is not for sissies, in other words. And it would appear that knowledge, the curse of the enlightened, is not for everyone.

The latter is meant to be an observation, but on many college campuses today, it seems to be an operating principle. A recent survey of 1,100 colleges and universities found that only 18 percent require American history or government, where such foundational premises as the First Amendment might be explained and understood.

The survey, by the American Council of Trustees and Alumni, assesses schools according to whether they have at least one required course in composition, foreign language at the intermediate level, American government or history, economics, science, mathematics and literature. Coincidentally, the very institutions where students are dominating what passes for debate also scored among the worst: University of Missouri, D; Yale University, C; Dartmouth College, C; and Princeton University, C — all for requiring only one or a few of the subjects. Amherst College scored an F for requiring none of them.

Such is the world we’ve created for young people who soon enough will discover that the world doesn’t much care about their tender feelings. But before such harsh realities knock them off their ponies, we might hope that they redirect their anger. They have every right to despise the coddling culture that ill prepared them for life and an educational system that has failed to teach them what they need to know.

Weep for them — and us.

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