Thursday, May 8, 2014
I was never much of a dater. I didn't date until College. I never felt pressure to conform or be a part of my peers, which may be why it proverbially bit me on the ass in the present but I don't know. I do know that I am now terribly afraid and suffer from what happened to me at age 52, two years ago and clearly have not figured out how to reconcile and move past it all. No one wants what was a terrible moment in one's full life regardless of age to define them. Even regular people should have a full Wikipedia page that reflects all of a life's up and downs.
But this story concerned me as to have this define you at 18 you know that there is more to this story. The boy to assault and victimize young women at this point did not just do so inspired by rock music, marijuana, television or video games. This shit is by far more deeper than the superficial factors that affect life and living as a child.
We won't hear the whole story. And just like in Steubenville where the adults who were complicit in the boys terror and violence are now starting to close out with plea bargains and charges being reduced or dropped, we will never really know who or what led those boys to so brutally assault a girl and more importantly why.
Sexual violence is just that violence. It is no different that the young boys who are arming themselves with guns or knifes and assaulting fellow classmates and planning to assault schools in some type of misguided rage or confused illness that led to the last act for many in their young lives.
And when I meet adults so steadfastly ignorant or unwilling to really ask the hard questions and face the truth that we have a confused culture and attitude about sex and sexuality and confusing it with violence then you see why we have a problem. I always say that the problems with the child is not fully the child's fault and nor is it extraneous shit like music, etc - it is plainly the adults or lack thereof in their lives - that is truly the reason.
And on this we have not just America as the problem with this issue. We have seen serious fatal rapes and assaults in India, genocidal rape in Africa, the Middle East and other countries torn by war and religious conflict. This is not something we can ignore as many of these survivors migrate and the wounds carried or witnessed or experienced, directly or not, are not checked at the border.
We cannot say it is racism or xenophobia that is why we are choosing to ignore these issues, it is ignorance and arrogance. We are not a balm in which being in the United States is sufficient enough to heal those wounds.
College rape epidemic? No its an epidemic that began way earlier on. This is the talk we need to have with all children regardless of age and orientation.